Just Look at Your List

I am a list maker.  It helps to keep me organized and helps me to plan.  I have a master list of home projects that doesn’t get checked off to often because most of those projects require a significant investment in money or time, or skills that I don’t possess to accomplish them, yet the list remains.  I make grocery lists, lists for running errands, lists for cards to send, lists for things I want to cook or bake.  Soon I fear I could need a list to keep track of the lists. 

One of the other things I do, which is not so much a list, is keep a stack of loose leaf notebook paper on my desk where I write random things I come across, or I see, or that inspired me or just something I might want to remember at a later date.  Sometimes it’s a recipe I watched on tv and I frantically try to remember and keep up with what they added( I know, I could probably just google it and find the recipe), sometimes it’s a quote or a verse I heard, sometimes it’s a number, that I will inevitably forget what or who it belongs to.  This week, I was reminded why it’s good to keep this scribble spot, because you never know when it’s going to come in handy.

Today, ends my fifth week of not going to work.  It started with a week of vacation in mid March, which marked my 15 year anniversary at work, which then turned into 2 more weeks of a shelter in place order, which then turned into an additional 3 weeks until it ends (as of now, anyway).  So, I’ve got a lot of cleaning done, I painted the basement, I’ve baked and cooked, made videos, joined Tik Tok (don’t ask)and done whatever else I could come up with to keep me busy and keep my mind off the fact I wasn’t working and making any income.  Let me tell you, several weeks of that little voice in your head reminding you that the money is going out but not coming in can start to cause, to put it lightly, some concern.  Now, just to be clear, I know that I am beyond blessed and most of my concern is in my own head.  I am, of course, in the pipeline for unemployment, but the lack of ability to obtain any kind of clear answer to where you are in the process or get any kind of useful information from them has added a huge healping of anxiety to my plate.

Every morning, however, I got up and I would have a conversation with God.  I know he has blessed me and that he will meet my every need…that’s what I KNOW.   But as the days drug on and we arrived here in week 5, it was harder and harder for me to have that faith. (I’m getting to the part about my list, just hang in a couple more seconds…)  So, long about Tuesday, as another bill loomed due at the end of the week, I was becoming more and more frustrated with the whole situation, I was not supposed to be digging into my savings already!!!  C’mon God!  Where you at?  You know the whole “meet my every need” thing?  Ummmm, when was that going to kick in?  And then Wednesday came.  Stimulus check.  Breathe and thank God.  And then, something more important than the money… later that day, I was doing some website updates and found shuffled in my pile of scribbles something I wrote down several weeks ago, just about the time this whole time we are currently living in started.  There on the top of the paper I had written ” when God seems distant (when you’re going through something you never have)he’s positioning you for a miracle”.  WHAT?  Of course.  The answer to all my anxiety and frustration was written right there on the top of the page!   Not that I didn’t really know that, I just needed the reminder. Now, to make this even better, you want to know what I had scribbled at the bottom of the page?  Well, I don’t think you read this far to jump ship now?

Joshua 3:5               “…consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things”

Goose. Bumps.  He’s got me covered.

So, I guess the  message in this post is first of all…TRUST GOD AND HIS TIMING.  Second, when you hear, see, do something that speaks to you in some way, write it down, even if it seems insignificant at the time, at some point you’ll need it.

I hope you are all well!

Much Love,

Greg