Making a Fuss

It’s been a very long time since I posted on this site.   From time to time something would cross my mind and I would think to myself that I should write a blog post, but time got away from me and before you know it, months, maybe even years have passed.  Since we last spoke, I have started a business.  A baking business.  I’ll mention it and invite you to check it out here www.walnuttreebakingco.com, but for today, I have more important things to say.

If you follow me on social media, or know me personally, then you probably know that just one month ago, I lost my mom.  On a list of things I thought would ever happen to me that Thursday before Mother’s Day, my mom passing away would never have even been a thought.  Not even a tiny consideration.  I’ll admit, that even now, a month later, it is not real to me.  I find myself, at times, thinking she’s just in the hospital, that we’re keeping things running and in order until we she gets back to take over.   I hear her voice in my head everyday.   The advice she would have given me guides my steps.  What she would have done is forefront in my mind.    THIS IS HARD. 

I’ve used the word “navigate” a lot the past 4 weeks.  That’s what I’m doing.  That’s what my dad is doing.  That’s what my sister, brother in law and nephew are doing.  We are navigating strange territory.  Territory we don’t particularly like, but  a territory we were forced to arrive at.  I don’t want to go on too much about our grief.  I realize, our grief is not special.  Everyone loses someone they love, everyone thinks they can not possibly make it without them.  They do.  We will.  It’s still so fresh.  We have a lot of “firsts” ahead of us.  We will be okay, because she made us strong.  She would want us to be.

The real “point” of my post today is for a different reason.  A favor, if you will?  

Today my mom would turn 76 years old and in honor of her,  I’m asking you to do something for me.   Make a fuss about someone you love.  If you’re wondering about “making a fuss”, the eulogy I wrote for  my mom’s service explains it all.  I’d like to share it with you…

      “As we’ve navigated these past few days, my mother’s voice is loud and clear in my head. Sifting through photographs I could hear her saying “Don’t you dare put that picture on that video”. Sorting through her closet I could hear her …”not that, not that, maybe , not that…” as we made selections for her service today, I could hear her “whatever you think”. The truth is my mother would hate all of this. She would hate that we were making a fuss over any of it, for her.
As a family we celebrate every birthday, every holiday, every milestone. When Mother’s Day or her birthday would come around, I would ask her what she wanted for her special meal? Her immediate response would be “hamburgers on the grill”. Not because she particularly loved hamburgers on the grill, but because she never wanted us to make a big deal or spend a lot of money, she just wanted to keep it simple.
My mother deserves a fuss, if for no other reason then she IS my dad’s beloved wife or my sister and my mom. She is Jacob’s grandmother, she is your aunt, your sister, your cousin, your coworker, your friend,… for whatever reason my mom was a part of your life, SHE DESERVES THE FUSS.
I hate to break it to you all, but my mom is the best of all time. Undeniable to anyone who knew her, her family was her greatest joy. I wrote on Friday that she loved us fiercely. That was the only word I could come up with to come close to describing her love for us. FIERCE. She was our biggest cheerleader, an advocate for us, a listening ear. She did whatever was necessary to protect us, to comfort us, to be there for all of us.
Reading through posts these past few days, the word “kind” appeared so many times. My mom was kind. She was one of those people that others often felt so comfortable around that they would share some of their most personal struggles, sometimes, much to her dismay. But it didn’t stop her from listening, comforting, offering advice if needed. She touched so many people.
My family has found great peace the past couple days knowing how loved she was by all of you. We find even greater peace knowing she is happily at the feet of Jesus. And while we are so profoundly sad that she is no longer here with us, we know that she IS here with us. She is the glimmer in my dad’s eye, she is all the best parts of me and my sister. She is the kindness we all extend to those around us.
Finally, I hope we can all take some time to “make a fuss” over the people you love. And if you would, take a minute to remember how my mom touched your life and honor her for that. She would hate it, but she deserves it.”

Tonight we will do what we would have done.  We will have dinner together as a family.  We will celebrate her.  We will be sad and joyful at the same time. We will wish things were different, but we will be grateful for the time we had.  She would want it that way.

So I hope that you think about the people in your life.  Your family, friends, co-workers.  I hope you can find a moment to make just a little fuss over them, even if they think it’s silly or unnecessary.  Do it for them, do it for yourself, do it for my mom!

Be blessed.

xo

Greg